Asperger and communication: the eternal dilemma

Asperger and communication: the eternal dilemma

How do Aspergers communicate?
Sometimes neurotypical people can ask this question when dealing with Asperger people. This is because often there are dissymmetries in communication that lead us to reflect on the fact that there is more than one way to communicate and interact with each other.

When neurotypical people talk to each other use often puns, they say things to actually mean others, they make extensive use of irony even appearing serious at times and often don’t let others understand what they really think. This is to say how their way of communicating is complex and sometimes difficult to follow especially if one is neurodiverse as in the case of the Asperger.

The latter, in fact, when it comes to communicating, are much more candid, they tend to say what they think and, generally, don’t say things to mean others. Moreover, a very important point fundamental in communication, they don’t understand always the irony and the jokes, especially if you recite them being serious you’ll be taken seriously. In this regard, I have lost count of the times in which someone made me notice some difficulties I had ironically throwing it as a joke and I have been deeply affected by it because I took it seriously and as an attack against me.
From these points, it can be seen that sometimes communication between the two types of people can be complicated. In fact, the Asperger lack the skills to understand the functioning of communication between neurotypes. Everything that is generally learned automatically by children seeing other adults for Asperger is something to be studied mechanically, as they lack the ability to extrapolate most communication rules only by observation. They must have the rules well written to study as if they were school assignments.

I am still learning how to communicate better with others as I have isolated myself for years, so I couldn’t practice much. The thing that causes me the most problems as mentioned above is the irony, when someone makes jokes about me I can’t stop and think about what the other person actually told me and what his intentions might be. The first thing I do is to feel terrible and feel attacked and defenceless, after the first moment I stop to think but not before, something that over the years has brought many problems in my social interactions.

You may wonder then: is it possible that neurotypes and Asperger communicate effectively? My answer is yes, but with precautions on both sides. Asperger has to work more on understanding the real meaning of what is being said and on their insecurity, whereas neurotypes need to be more lenient when others are straightforward and tell them the truth, even a little brutally.
What do you think are the major differences between neurotypes and Asperger in the field of communication?